Morning Meeting

Anytime I mention that we home school, I almost always get asked.... "Why?" Although sometimes the question comes out like this:  

"Why?!"

more often than not, it's just an honest inquisition. So what road did we turn on to to lead us to this point? Well, there was definitely not one single road that led us to this destination, but a series of twists and turns and curves along the way. 

I had actually wanted to home school for quite some time- since my oldest was in 3rd or 4th grade.. but there were just too many hurdles at that point- some I built and placed myself... others were put in place by the people around me. My son, my husband, relatives, employment and a myriad of other reasons kept me from following my gut instinct. But as time went on, the feeling grew stronger and more insistent. 

The first major intersection I crossed in my journey was my last pregnancy. I was so sick that I honestly felt near death for months at a time. (I'm so sorry if any of you can relate!) I basically laid on the couch for months at a time and if anybody even bumped me I'd throw up. Somehow life went on around me. The kids were able to survive, but I deeply regretted missing so much. I wasn't able to get up and play with them, take them places or even cuddle. When the pregnancy was over and I was finally feeling more like myself I was keenly aware of how much time I was missing out on every time they got on that school bus. I missed them terribly! To compound the feeling, just days after the baby was born my oldest moved out...

That went way too fast...

It made me realize how much we take time for granted. I felt like the majority of his life was spent away from me while he was sitting with strange teachers and bus drivers. And when he was home, at least 50% of the time was soaked up with homework and fights over grades. There was so much that I missed! Every time I looked at my sweet little baby- I had visions of her moving out too. I felt like I wanted to freeze time and hold onto every.. single.. moment... 

I feel incredibly humbled and blessed to be a mother. “Children” we are told, “are a heritage of the Lord;” [Psalm 127:3.] I was feeling the full weight of my stewardship over these precious little ones. I felt that there is such an important message to be taught... and I have little time to teach it. There are just not enough hours in the day for me to teach what I want them to learn. I wanted to teach them to have faith in the Lord. I wanted them to understand God's love for them. Yet, they had more hours of the day with a teacher who didn't know them- in a school where God is not allowed- than with me....  

^{So I made a list. I listed all the goals I have in being a mother. Grades... didn't even make the cut. One of my biggest regrets in life was spending so much time worrying about somebody else's standards for my son. I felt strongly that my children's education should be between them, the Lord, and their parents. For us, sending them away to school was just not going to work. So I dove in- headfirst- with little research, hardly any planning, and no experience. We are one year into our journey and I am more in love with being a mom every day. I love having them home with me. They love being home with me. And I feel like not only are they learning math and reading... but more importantly they are learning about God and family.} 

^{I am excited for a new "school year" to start. I have so many ideas and so much fun planned. The last few weeks I have been working on their morning meeting assignments that we work on around the family table. (We have a "meeting" every morning where we do a few math practice problems, some copy work, some scripture study, and a moment of gratitude.) This year I am adding something new to the mix. Instead of just scripture study, I am adding secret little messages of encouragement and direction. My kids LOVE puzzles and clues so I'm sure they will love finding the hidden message in the scriptures every week. Click on the picture to see the entire document.}

Jesus Freak

The other night I had a dream. In my dream I was with my children at a public place. I don't know where... I don't think it matters. As I was following my girls through the crowd I walked by an old friend. This was one of my closest, most genuine friends who, after a falling out, I haven't spoken to in about a year... In my dream as I walked by, I saw her. I saw that she saw me... and we both kept walking our separate ways. As I walked away, every step became heavier... and heavier... and more and more painful until I could bear it no more. With tears in my eyes I turned back and ran to find her. As I ran back I saw that she too had turned. Midway we met again and embraced.

When I woke the next morning... it was hard to adjust to reality. It was one of those dreams that you had to really consider whether it was true or not. Did that really happen? Or was it just a dream... My hope is that although it was in truth just a dream, it can also be much more than that. I feel as if, in sharing this dream with you, I should give you some back story to put it into perspective.

I am Mormon. She is not.

I thought about (and even wrote out) a lengthy explanation of the reason our friendship has gone by the wayside... but that is what it really boils down to- as shameful as it is for me to admit. When I met her we were sisters in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We were both members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But we shared much more in common than our religion. We both suffered through traumatic childhoods and I often looked to her for strength and courage to face my past. I also looked to her for courage to face my future. She helped me to become more self-reliant and was a testimony to me of spiritual and worldly preparedness. Ironically, in many ways my testimony was strengthened by her example. Even after she left the church I looked to her to see how I could better serve the Lord.

Ultimately there were aspects of the restored gospel that she just couldn't accept. They didn't sit right with her. She has since been very vocally opposed to the Mormon church and shares her new testimony of a different Jesus every opportunity she gets.  She has been labeled a "Jesus freak", I'm sure, by many more than just Mormons...

And it gets me thinking... why aren't we all out there sharing the message of Jesus Christ every opportunity we get? Why aren't all the Mormons being labeled Jesus freaks? Okay, yes.. I realize some of us are. But am I? When we partake of the sacrament we witness that we are willing to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ, and always remember him and keep his commandments ... (D&C 20:77; Moro. 4:3.) But what does that mean? I'm sure it means many things, but to me it means becoming His ambassador. It means sharing the message of His atoning sacrifice. It means spreading hope. 


The Apostle Peter taught the church in his day that we should “sanctify the Lord God in [our] hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh [us] a reason of the hope that is in [us].” (1 Pet. 3:15.) And in the Doctrine in Covenants we learn to, “Take upon ...the name of Christ, and speak the truth in soberness.” (D&C 18:21.) 
I think sometimes those of us in the Mormon church get so caught up in sharing the gospel that we forget to add in the most important part... "of Jesus Christ". We share with each other conversion stories that came through amazing experiences of mutual, scouting, primary, enrichment nights, and ward parties but we leave out the most important part. Jesus Christ. I get it... It's sacred. It's hard to share this sacred knowledge and do so respectfully... with the reverence He deserves. So we skirt around and talk about the church... instead of His church. We teach our children but to those outside of our faith we fail to be frank for fear of offending or starting controversy. President Gordon B Hinckley taught that we should "...simply, quietly, and without apology testify that God has revealed Himself and His Beloved Son in opening this full and final dispensation of His work. We must not become disagreeable as we talk of doctrinal differences. But we can never surrender that knowledge which has come to us through revelation. Let us never forget that this is a restoration of [the Savior’s Church]. "

During the last conversation I had with my friend, she essentially told me that she loves me, the person, but cannot be friends with me, the Mormon. I told her those two people are one in the same. I told her "I am Mormon. It is not just a religion to me, but a way of life. A part of who I am and the one does not come without the other." I would expound upon that, if I could. I would explain to her that I have promised to be willing to take upon myself the name of Jesus Christ. I promised to be a witness to His glory. I promised to spread His love and His hope.  "Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast..." (Hebrews 6:4) 

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is an anchor to my soul. I believe. I know it to be the gospel of Jesus Christ. I will not apologize for my faith nor can I turn my back on what I know to be true. However; I hold my friend in deep regard. She does great good in this world and whether she is bringing souls into the church, she is helping to spread the message of Jesus Christ. I am still learning from her example. I hope someday that my dream can come to fruition. That we will find our middle ground and stop trying to prove each other wrong. 

We need to embrace the good in one another 

and forget about the rest.