Where does our money go?!

We have a modest home... In a decent middle class neighborhood. We were fortunate to have bought our home during the recession in 2003. The land we purchased was bank-owned and we put plenty of sweat-equity into the building. Since that time we have been able to avoid home equity lines or adding more money into a refinance.

When we bought our home eleven years ago, we had one child, already in school, and we both worked. Our combined income was just over the average for our area. We had two small car payments, my student loan, and some credit card debt. My job provided benefits and a 401K. With our modest income we were soon able to pay off one of our cars... and then our mortgage company upped our escrow account payment by almost that exact amount per month! Soon after, my student loan was paid off... and we found ourselves needing to buy a new (used) car. (We were expecting baby number two and we both drove 2-door coupes which would not fit a carseat.) We financed it. Our payment was about the same as my student loan...Next we nailed our credit card debt. And along came baby #3...

This was one of those life-altering, faith building, get on your knees and pray moments in our lives. We both felt that it was time I quit my job and stay at home full time. At that point we didn't know how we would replace my income, but we acted on faith and knew the Lord would provide if we followed His counsel. Which He did. My husband went to his boss and asked for a raise. That helped, although we were still short nearly $1000 per month. At one point, when the bills were coming due and the bank account was empty, I got on my knees and prayed. I felt that we should fast and the next day at church we paid triple our usual fast offerings. It was a total act of faith considering we really had no money to give. The very next day, Monday morning, my husband was given the opportunity to pick up some side jobs. The pay, after tithes and taxes, was enough to meet our financial obligations... and buy a tub of ice cream!

We eventually, through pay negotiations and the paying off of debts, were able to truly become a one-income family and not depend so heavily on side jobs. Still, money has been tight. When one bill was paid off, another seemed to pop up in it's place. When my husband got a raise, we would find we had an added expense. Always one step forward, one step back. This has been the story of our married lives. We have always had just enough. It's like our finances are on a treadmill- always running but never really going anywhere. We have been diligent in paying tithes, putting money into savings, and paying off debts, but have seldom had money for anything else. Honestly, it can be discouraging. 

Of all things mundane and uninteresting our family's budget is definitely not one of them. I have become excellent at budgeting and find all kinds of creative ways to save money. But still I have my bouts of melancholy. Through one such bout, I looked up the average spending patterns of an American family. I actually, truthfully sat there having a pity party while I poured over numbers comparing ourselves to everybody else. I realized we are no longer just above average income... in fact we are now well below it! 

If only the Lord would bless us with more than just enough I am sure I could put that money to good use. How much more could I serve Him if I wasn't spending so many hours in a day just trying to make ends meet? How much more could I donate? How much more could I enrich my children's lives with museum memberships and lessons and everything else that is good! Besides that, I realized... my definition of just enough has been changing slowly over the last few years as we seem to be getting squeezed from all directions. Loss of benefits and loss of pay on one side and the raising cost of food, insurance, gas and well... everything on the other. It's not fair!!!

And then I stopped... and realized what we've done. Somehow, with our insignificant income, we've been able to stay out of debt. We've been able to pay for swimming lessons for my girls. We've been able to eat a healthy home-made diet. We've been able to run and play and have time together as a family. We've been able to have daddy dates once a month. We have phones, and internet and we even bought a puppy! The point is-

 instead of being discouraged about having just enough I needed to appreciate the abundance that our financial struggles have brought us.  

That said, I am always on the lookout for new and interesting ways to save money. Please share your thoughts and tips with me. And if you are interested, and promise to only use this information to inspire and uplift instead of depress and discourage here is the research that I did on average family expenditures. I included, for the most part, what we spend as comparison. (Yikes! Getting personal here!) This is not an all-inclusive budget. I didn't include miscellaneous expenses. 

Average gross monthly household income for Utah: $4624

[Ours... is less]

Average taxes paid in Utah: $275/month

[We paid just less than average]

Average grocery bill: $584 (for a family of 4)

[We spend between $250 and $350 per month... and we are a family of 6!]

Average clothing cost: $157/month

[We budget for $30/month]

Average health insurance: $1333 (workers usually pay more than 1/4 of that or $380/month)

[We pay $400 per month. We get no benefits through an employer. We make due with "substandard" insurance...]

Average cost of transportation: $1545/mo - This is including insurance, car maintenance, and car payments with a national gas price average of $3.66 (wow!)

[we spend about $450- we have no car payments, my husband drives a civic and I keep my driving to a minimum]

average cost of utilities: $304 

[we spend $300]

Average cost of housing (in the West): $1640 - This includes dwelling (rent or mortgage), and insurance

[We spend $960]

average cost of household/housekeeping costs: $139
[We budget $100]

Average cost of furnishings and appliances: $125
[We add this into our household expenses]

Charitable Donations: The average is anywhere from 2-10% depending on your income bracket while the 10% average doesn't apply until the income bracket of $250,000/year. Wow... 

[We pay much more than average... not hard apparently...]

Average Entertainment cost: $235 

[We budget $50/month]

Average on Personal Care: 254/mo

[This one surprised me! We don't even have a line on our budget for this one. If I get my hair done I usually have to pull from the grocery budget... and I cut my husband's hair.]

Did you notice what I noticed? If we all spent the average while earning an average income... we would all be very much in debt!