Me Not Them

I have lately been learning about a new (to me) philosophy of education. A Thomas Jefferson Education encourages "you not them", "inspire not require". It tells us that we should "Lead out". It encourages us to continue our own education as we blaze the trail for our posterity. And I realized... I don't even know what I want to study. My brain tells me that I should take a book-keeping, accounting, or business class... but my heart tells me to study art and music. I don't know how to make myself better. I don't know how to lead or be an example to anybody... let alone these precious little gems in my charge... 

The following is a series of advice-seeking posts that I have published on a homeschooling  page that I frequent on Facebook.

2/18/2016
A bit over a year ago... I sat in the home of a well-respected teacher and entrepreneur. I was talking to her about private tutoring for my then 6-year-old. She suggested a trade to offset cost so she could offer services at a discounted rate. 
"What skills do you have?" She asked. 
I sat there for a minute and listed a few of my husband's skills, but for myself I could think of nothing worthy of a trade. I left her house feeling discouraged and defeated. Here I was in my mid-30's and I could not think of  a single thing that I excelled at. Later that year I took an online skills/interests test which would purportedly point me in the direction of a career that I would enjoy. The results: "No career path matches your skills/interests". 
I have friends who tutor, teach music, take pictures, organize, book-keep, paint, build, sew, manage, cut hair, etc... for other people... from home as a supplement to their household income. These are all things that they enjoy, that they've pursued at some point, and that they now they use to supplement their household income and/or offer as trades to others. I have none of these skills. I have no idea even where to start. 
I have taken right brain/left brain tests...and every SINGLE time the results come up 50/50. I am average in every way. I like math... but I'm not great at it. I like art... but I'm not great at it. I'm not a great housekeeper, cook, teacher, or mom (if I'm being honest- my one redeeming quality). 
I feel a pull ... to be something more... do something more... to work on myself and make a change in me and in my family... but I feel so lost! It's like I am being pulled first one way and then the other... constantly and steadily traveling on this unyielding path of mediocrity. 
I crave passion... but I lack courage. I'm not necessarily looking for a career (although a supplement to our income would be a happy side-effect). Nonetheless, I would love to have *something* to add to my resume of accomplishments and skills. Has anybody else found themselves in a similar rut? I would love some inspiration here... At this point I definitely do not feel as if I'm much of a leader. :/


2/19/2016
Friends... As I sit here reading your responses (every single one!) I can't help but to be deeply and thoroughly humbled. I  prayed in earnest last night before climbing into bed- and this morning I woke early. As I sat at the window watching the sun rise over the mountains, the thought came to me that I do not, in fact, lack passion or courage... but that in reality what I lack is *permission*. Permission to pour that passion into un-quantifiable talents; permission to stop measuring myself against worldly standards; permission to love what I love with no excuses or explanations. I am God's hands and I can serve Him best when I stop focusing on the merits of men. If I'm completely honest with myself, that's what my crisis has been all about- not measuring up to what mankind *thinks* I should be doing (or rather whatever it is *I* think they should expect). 
I do love art- but I've never allowed myself permission to pursue it. I love to write- I really do! But I haven't so much as written in my journal this past decade... To allow myself the time to hone my talent instead of teaching, working, cleaning, serving (you name it!), seemed irresponsible, careless, and even selfish. As I read through your replies, I realize that my childhood never allowed me the opportunity for a proper love of learning. As a beginner to TJed, in the interest of "leading out" it didn't even occur to me to start there. I've been searching for passion to ignite my scholar phase when in reality what I've needed was permission to finally start my love of learning. So... thank you all for your kind comments. You will never know how much your solidarity has meant to me! (And P.S.... I think I will start a blog!)


2/21/2016
I'm feeling a lot more hopeful today. I made a list of all the things that throughout my childhood, I had hoped to learn most passionately... things that I remember pining and wishing for- some that I actually did practice at for a time. I was never afforded the chance to heartily pursue any of my endeavors. Some were blocked by circumstance, some were blocked by my parents, some were blocked by my own logical sensibilities... I instead pursued more practical endeavors. And I'm just now realizing, as I'm looking over my list, that I set aside my creativity and focused on that which was the most respectable. I detested the thought of becoming a  statistic- for reasons I won't get into today- and in the meantime I explored that which the world would most applaud and congratulate. What that left me with was a a college education in a field that I've never enjoyed and consequently never used. I've since devoted the majority of my time to trivial household duties, community service, and the raising of my children. And while I do absolutely "get fulfillment" in doing at least those latter two... I feel that I have lost my "self" in the process. Tonight I'm sitting down with my husband to work out a plan to get back on track. Wish me luck!

2/22/2016
Hi friends, it's me again. I did some soul searching last week after my post and all of your encouraging comments. I realized then that I had pretty much skipped my love of learning phase. I had never really given myself *permission* to explore it (even as a child). My interests and even personality have been muddled by a mix of what I want and what I think other people want (or expect) of me. Anyway, as I made my list of things that I'd really like to learn verses the things that I think I *should* learn... I noticed that all of my right brain creative side was what I wanted... while the left brain mathematical side is what I'd actually pursued. I sat down and had a conversation about it with the hubs (a very left brained individual)... who told me "we are just not in the season of our life yet for you to explore your artistic side". "Your time right now needs to be focused on more practical things." "That just sounds like chaos." "It would be too hard to carve out chunks of time to devote to lessons or time to practice.." ha!! This is just a bit of the opposition I encountered. He fully supports me taking classes on book keeping by the way... but is not okay with piano lessons, etc. Now... don't get me wrong. He's not a dream squasher ... he just has absolutely no frame of reference or understanding for why these things are important to me. His love of learning would be to learn quantum physics (true story) and in his down time he chooses to re-tile our shower. He can't understand why I would want to draw a silly picture... that has no function or purpose. SO... my question for you is... how? How do you take time out of your busy day for "me" time without having it upset the balance of your very existence. How do you sell this concept to your spouse? P.s. he's very reasonable (maybe too much so!). I just have to appeal to his logic!
P.S. I don't have a *need* to be a professional anything. I just want to learn. I dabble in arts and crafts and do plenty of artistic things with my kids.... but let's be honest... I can't exactly hone my skill with blunt-edge scissors and glue sticks. What I'm craving is progress. I actually want to learn *how* to paint/draw/play piano. It doesn't require a class... but will require time... time without a 3-year-old "helping". That's the main issue. The time that I take for myself.

A History of the ACA as told by one who "benefits" from it

Dear Mr. Senator,  

                                                                    

Today I qualified and signed up for insurance through the new marketplace implemented for the Affordable Care Act… This is a momentous occasion but not something that my family will be celebrating. You see, we have had privately held insurance since 2009 when my husband lost his benefits at work. At the time we shopped around and found an option that worked for our family. We chose a catastrophic insurance plan. It was the best fit for us since we did not use maternity care and did not use prescriptions. We seldom, if ever, went to the doctor. Most importantly, it allowed us to save enough money in a tax-free H.S.A. account to meet our high deductible in case of a catastrophe. This plan, for our family of 6, initially cost us $165 per month.

At renewal the next year (February 2010) our rate went up by 4% per month to $171. The increase came with a notice citing the new changes that may come into effect because of Obamacare letting us know that if the law passes, the coverage that we have chosen will no longer be deemed acceptable.

Several months later, our insurance- which we purposely chose to fit our needs- notified us that they would now be required by law to cover preventative care at 100% regardless of the status of our deductible. We were also notified that they could no longer offer the insurance plan that we had set up to new customers; however, as an existing policy holder we could continue coverage as a grandfathered policy. 

Our 2011 renewal came with a 15% increase putting our plan at $196 per month. We were also notified that our plan was now required to cover cancer screenings along with covering 100% of preventative care and immunizations. According to the letter in our renewal packet, this was what caused our rate to go up. We renewed our plan.

Later that year, our oldest child had some severe mental health challenges. Our insurance plan did not cover mental health but the provider did give us the option of switching to a new plan. I looked at other options and found that should we purchase another catastrophic insurance plan with mental health coverage, we would likely lose our insurance when the ACA went into effect. Our “grandfathered” plan status would no longer be in effect. We paid out of pocket without the help of insurance for my son’s medical needs and stuck to our grandfathered plan.

The year 2012 brought us another 20% increase bringing our rate to $234 per month. We were also reminded by letter that this plan did not meet the requirements of the ACA and we may end up losing coverage soon. We shopped around and found that our grandfathered “sub-standard” health care plan was half the rate of anything else that we could find. We renewed.

The year 2013 again gave us a 20% increase bringing our rate now to $291 per month. We were finally told that we could keep our insurance because of its grandfathered status without paying a penalty.

The glorious health care market place opened late 2013. Out of curiosity, we checked it out and found that the basest bronze-level plan was more expensive than our “sub-standard” insurance. However, because of our income, we would qualify for “tax-credits” to reduce our premium. We weighed our options and ultimately decided against signing up for other people’s money. We had been able to pay our bills and we could afford (barely) our insurance, so we stuck with it. 

In February of 2014 we received a notice that our insurance would again be increasing by 20%. Our rate was now $350 per month for a high deductible catastrophic plan. We could no longer afford to contribute to our H.S.A. with this new rate, but we did renew our plan.

That history now brings us to this monumental day in 2015. Our rates have gone up again, by another 20%. In the past five years, our insurance has increased by a whopping 250%. Our income… has stayed the same. The friendly letter reminded us that if we don’t like the rate increase we can always “visit Healthcare.gov and look at other Marketplace plans.” We received our letter 5 days before the marketplace closes... 

We are starting to see a pattern and realize the predicament that we are in. Our grandfathered plan will continue to try to price us out by increasing the rate each year. $412 per month is more than 10% of our income and we are down to the wire. I've talked to several private insurance agents who have all told me there is nothing less expensive on the private market than our plan. Our Health Savings Account is empty... and we are out of options. Today we canceled our insurance.

I literally cried. I cried for the future of this country. We have never been wealthy- not even upper-middle class. But, for our entire marriage my spouse and I have been able to pay our bills, stay out of debt and avoid any kind of government assistance. We have almost always qualified for reduced school lunches and I’m sure other government programs- but we have never needed it and we willingly chose not to partake. We budget, we save, and we flourish with hard work and sacrifice. Our children have never gone hungry and are, in fact, quite healthy. As I filled out the application and chose a new healthcare plan- I was required to check a box stating that should our income ever drop to a level that qualifies us for Medicaid, we would cancel our marketplace insurance and enroll in welfare.

We do not want handouts! But we have literally been forced onto government assistance along with countless other Americans. We have just signed up to receive money “from the government”… money that our government can only get through taxation, penalties and fees from ourselves, our neighbors, our friends, and our posterity… and even projections of this “revenue” falls far short of covering this staggering cost.

In the meantime, we have been priced out of our “substandard” insurance which had a lower price tag overall than the bronze level plan we have just signed up for. Our catastrophic insurance plan, even with the rate hike, was 50% less expensive for premiums than the cheapest government subsidized health plan available. It also had a max family deductible of $10,400- covering everything at 100% after that deductible was met- which beats even the highest priced bronze level plan on the marketplace.

Mr. Senator, I realize I am not telling you anything new in this letter. I merely want my voice to be heard. I want people to know how the Affordable Care Act is directly affecting one family who it proposes to benefit. We do not see this as a benefit. We are not happy. I sincerely hope that you will continue to do whatever is possible to repeal this outrageous infringement upon our families’ freedoms. With every dollar that we add to our debt and with every healthcare option that is ripped away from us, our country falls deeper into a state of dependence and becomes less and less like the free America that our founding fathers fought and died for... all in the name of social justice.

Your constituent,

Sheryl Rose

Morning Meeting

Anytime I mention that we home school, I almost always get asked.... "Why?" Although sometimes the question comes out like this:  

"Why?!"

more often than not, it's just an honest inquisition. So what road did we turn on to to lead us to this point? Well, there was definitely not one single road that led us to this destination, but a series of twists and turns and curves along the way. 

I had actually wanted to home school for quite some time- since my oldest was in 3rd or 4th grade.. but there were just too many hurdles at that point- some I built and placed myself... others were put in place by the people around me. My son, my husband, relatives, employment and a myriad of other reasons kept me from following my gut instinct. But as time went on, the feeling grew stronger and more insistent. 

The first major intersection I crossed in my journey was my last pregnancy. I was so sick that I honestly felt near death for months at a time. (I'm so sorry if any of you can relate!) I basically laid on the couch for months at a time and if anybody even bumped me I'd throw up. Somehow life went on around me. The kids were able to survive, but I deeply regretted missing so much. I wasn't able to get up and play with them, take them places or even cuddle. When the pregnancy was over and I was finally feeling more like myself I was keenly aware of how much time I was missing out on every time they got on that school bus. I missed them terribly! To compound the feeling, just days after the baby was born my oldest moved out...

That went way too fast...

It made me realize how much we take time for granted. I felt like the majority of his life was spent away from me while he was sitting with strange teachers and bus drivers. And when he was home, at least 50% of the time was soaked up with homework and fights over grades. There was so much that I missed! Every time I looked at my sweet little baby- I had visions of her moving out too. I felt like I wanted to freeze time and hold onto every.. single.. moment... 

I feel incredibly humbled and blessed to be a mother. “Children” we are told, “are a heritage of the Lord;” [Psalm 127:3.] I was feeling the full weight of my stewardship over these precious little ones. I felt that there is such an important message to be taught... and I have little time to teach it. There are just not enough hours in the day for me to teach what I want them to learn. I wanted to teach them to have faith in the Lord. I wanted them to understand God's love for them. Yet, they had more hours of the day with a teacher who didn't know them- in a school where God is not allowed- than with me....  

^{So I made a list. I listed all the goals I have in being a mother. Grades... didn't even make the cut. One of my biggest regrets in life was spending so much time worrying about somebody else's standards for my son. I felt strongly that my children's education should be between them, the Lord, and their parents. For us, sending them away to school was just not going to work. So I dove in- headfirst- with little research, hardly any planning, and no experience. We are one year into our journey and I am more in love with being a mom every day. I love having them home with me. They love being home with me. And I feel like not only are they learning math and reading... but more importantly they are learning about God and family.} 

^{I am excited for a new "school year" to start. I have so many ideas and so much fun planned. The last few weeks I have been working on their morning meeting assignments that we work on around the family table. (We have a "meeting" every morning where we do a few math practice problems, some copy work, some scripture study, and a moment of gratitude.) This year I am adding something new to the mix. Instead of just scripture study, I am adding secret little messages of encouragement and direction. My kids LOVE puzzles and clues so I'm sure they will love finding the hidden message in the scriptures every week. Click on the picture to see the entire document.}

Jesus Freak

The other night I had a dream. In my dream I was with my children at a public place. I don't know where... I don't think it matters. As I was following my girls through the crowd I walked by an old friend. This was one of my closest, most genuine friends who, after a falling out, I haven't spoken to in about a year... In my dream as I walked by, I saw her. I saw that she saw me... and we both kept walking our separate ways. As I walked away, every step became heavier... and heavier... and more and more painful until I could bear it no more. With tears in my eyes I turned back and ran to find her. As I ran back I saw that she too had turned. Midway we met again and embraced.

When I woke the next morning... it was hard to adjust to reality. It was one of those dreams that you had to really consider whether it was true or not. Did that really happen? Or was it just a dream... My hope is that although it was in truth just a dream, it can also be much more than that. I feel as if, in sharing this dream with you, I should give you some back story to put it into perspective.

I am Mormon. She is not.

I thought about (and even wrote out) a lengthy explanation of the reason our friendship has gone by the wayside... but that is what it really boils down to- as shameful as it is for me to admit. When I met her we were sisters in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We were both members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But we shared much more in common than our religion. We both suffered through traumatic childhoods and I often looked to her for strength and courage to face my past. I also looked to her for courage to face my future. She helped me to become more self-reliant and was a testimony to me of spiritual and worldly preparedness. Ironically, in many ways my testimony was strengthened by her example. Even after she left the church I looked to her to see how I could better serve the Lord.

Ultimately there were aspects of the restored gospel that she just couldn't accept. They didn't sit right with her. She has since been very vocally opposed to the Mormon church and shares her new testimony of a different Jesus every opportunity she gets.  She has been labeled a "Jesus freak", I'm sure, by many more than just Mormons...

And it gets me thinking... why aren't we all out there sharing the message of Jesus Christ every opportunity we get? Why aren't all the Mormons being labeled Jesus freaks? Okay, yes.. I realize some of us are. But am I? When we partake of the sacrament we witness that we are willing to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ, and always remember him and keep his commandments ... (D&C 20:77; Moro. 4:3.) But what does that mean? I'm sure it means many things, but to me it means becoming His ambassador. It means sharing the message of His atoning sacrifice. It means spreading hope. 


The Apostle Peter taught the church in his day that we should “sanctify the Lord God in [our] hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh [us] a reason of the hope that is in [us].” (1 Pet. 3:15.) And in the Doctrine in Covenants we learn to, “Take upon ...the name of Christ, and speak the truth in soberness.” (D&C 18:21.) 
I think sometimes those of us in the Mormon church get so caught up in sharing the gospel that we forget to add in the most important part... "of Jesus Christ". We share with each other conversion stories that came through amazing experiences of mutual, scouting, primary, enrichment nights, and ward parties but we leave out the most important part. Jesus Christ. I get it... It's sacred. It's hard to share this sacred knowledge and do so respectfully... with the reverence He deserves. So we skirt around and talk about the church... instead of His church. We teach our children but to those outside of our faith we fail to be frank for fear of offending or starting controversy. President Gordon B Hinckley taught that we should "...simply, quietly, and without apology testify that God has revealed Himself and His Beloved Son in opening this full and final dispensation of His work. We must not become disagreeable as we talk of doctrinal differences. But we can never surrender that knowledge which has come to us through revelation. Let us never forget that this is a restoration of [the Savior’s Church]. "

During the last conversation I had with my friend, she essentially told me that she loves me, the person, but cannot be friends with me, the Mormon. I told her those two people are one in the same. I told her "I am Mormon. It is not just a religion to me, but a way of life. A part of who I am and the one does not come without the other." I would expound upon that, if I could. I would explain to her that I have promised to be willing to take upon myself the name of Jesus Christ. I promised to be a witness to His glory. I promised to spread His love and His hope.  "Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast..." (Hebrews 6:4) 

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is an anchor to my soul. I believe. I know it to be the gospel of Jesus Christ. I will not apologize for my faith nor can I turn my back on what I know to be true. However; I hold my friend in deep regard. She does great good in this world and whether she is bringing souls into the church, she is helping to spread the message of Jesus Christ. I am still learning from her example. I hope someday that my dream can come to fruition. That we will find our middle ground and stop trying to prove each other wrong. 

We need to embrace the good in one another 

and forget about the rest.

Where does our money go?!

We have a modest home... In a decent middle class neighborhood. We were fortunate to have bought our home during the recession in 2003. The land we purchased was bank-owned and we put plenty of sweat-equity into the building. Since that time we have been able to avoid home equity lines or adding more money into a refinance.

When we bought our home eleven years ago, we had one child, already in school, and we both worked. Our combined income was just over the average for our area. We had two small car payments, my student loan, and some credit card debt. My job provided benefits and a 401K. With our modest income we were soon able to pay off one of our cars... and then our mortgage company upped our escrow account payment by almost that exact amount per month! Soon after, my student loan was paid off... and we found ourselves needing to buy a new (used) car. (We were expecting baby number two and we both drove 2-door coupes which would not fit a carseat.) We financed it. Our payment was about the same as my student loan...Next we nailed our credit card debt. And along came baby #3...

This was one of those life-altering, faith building, get on your knees and pray moments in our lives. We both felt that it was time I quit my job and stay at home full time. At that point we didn't know how we would replace my income, but we acted on faith and knew the Lord would provide if we followed His counsel. Which He did. My husband went to his boss and asked for a raise. That helped, although we were still short nearly $1000 per month. At one point, when the bills were coming due and the bank account was empty, I got on my knees and prayed. I felt that we should fast and the next day at church we paid triple our usual fast offerings. It was a total act of faith considering we really had no money to give. The very next day, Monday morning, my husband was given the opportunity to pick up some side jobs. The pay, after tithes and taxes, was enough to meet our financial obligations... and buy a tub of ice cream!

We eventually, through pay negotiations and the paying off of debts, were able to truly become a one-income family and not depend so heavily on side jobs. Still, money has been tight. When one bill was paid off, another seemed to pop up in it's place. When my husband got a raise, we would find we had an added expense. Always one step forward, one step back. This has been the story of our married lives. We have always had just enough. It's like our finances are on a treadmill- always running but never really going anywhere. We have been diligent in paying tithes, putting money into savings, and paying off debts, but have seldom had money for anything else. Honestly, it can be discouraging. 

Of all things mundane and uninteresting our family's budget is definitely not one of them. I have become excellent at budgeting and find all kinds of creative ways to save money. But still I have my bouts of melancholy. Through one such bout, I looked up the average spending patterns of an American family. I actually, truthfully sat there having a pity party while I poured over numbers comparing ourselves to everybody else. I realized we are no longer just above average income... in fact we are now well below it! 

If only the Lord would bless us with more than just enough I am sure I could put that money to good use. How much more could I serve Him if I wasn't spending so many hours in a day just trying to make ends meet? How much more could I donate? How much more could I enrich my children's lives with museum memberships and lessons and everything else that is good! Besides that, I realized... my definition of just enough has been changing slowly over the last few years as we seem to be getting squeezed from all directions. Loss of benefits and loss of pay on one side and the raising cost of food, insurance, gas and well... everything on the other. It's not fair!!!

And then I stopped... and realized what we've done. Somehow, with our insignificant income, we've been able to stay out of debt. We've been able to pay for swimming lessons for my girls. We've been able to eat a healthy home-made diet. We've been able to run and play and have time together as a family. We've been able to have daddy dates once a month. We have phones, and internet and we even bought a puppy! The point is-

 instead of being discouraged about having just enough I needed to appreciate the abundance that our financial struggles have brought us.  

That said, I am always on the lookout for new and interesting ways to save money. Please share your thoughts and tips with me. And if you are interested, and promise to only use this information to inspire and uplift instead of depress and discourage here is the research that I did on average family expenditures. I included, for the most part, what we spend as comparison. (Yikes! Getting personal here!) This is not an all-inclusive budget. I didn't include miscellaneous expenses. 

Average gross monthly household income for Utah: $4624

[Ours... is less]

Average taxes paid in Utah: $275/month

[We paid just less than average]

Average grocery bill: $584 (for a family of 4)

[We spend between $250 and $350 per month... and we are a family of 6!]

Average clothing cost: $157/month

[We budget for $30/month]

Average health insurance: $1333 (workers usually pay more than 1/4 of that or $380/month)

[We pay $400 per month. We get no benefits through an employer. We make due with "substandard" insurance...]

Average cost of transportation: $1545/mo - This is including insurance, car maintenance, and car payments with a national gas price average of $3.66 (wow!)

[we spend about $450- we have no car payments, my husband drives a civic and I keep my driving to a minimum]

average cost of utilities: $304 

[we spend $300]

Average cost of housing (in the West): $1640 - This includes dwelling (rent or mortgage), and insurance

[We spend $960]

average cost of household/housekeeping costs: $139
[We budget $100]

Average cost of furnishings and appliances: $125
[We add this into our household expenses]

Charitable Donations: The average is anywhere from 2-10% depending on your income bracket while the 10% average doesn't apply until the income bracket of $250,000/year. Wow... 

[We pay much more than average... not hard apparently...]

Average Entertainment cost: $235 

[We budget $50/month]

Average on Personal Care: 254/mo

[This one surprised me! We don't even have a line on our budget for this one. If I get my hair done I usually have to pull from the grocery budget... and I cut my husband's hair.]

Did you notice what I noticed? If we all spent the average while earning an average income... we would all be very much in debt! 

Family Table Menu

I guess we are a visual family because when I plan my menu, my family goes nuts over this system! I have been planning my menu this way for years; but about a year ago I had a light bulb click on and realized this would be a fun way to get the family involved in our menu plan. I created a magnetic menu board complete with pictured magnets of all our favorite meals. I've actually separated my recipes into cost categories (high, medium, and low) and each family member gets to choose one high cost meal each month. The rest are filled in with medium and low cost meals. On months where we have extra expenses (like next month when all of our vehicles are due for registration...) we plan mostly low cost meals. It makes it a lot easier for me to budget this way. I still save all of my menus to reference for ideas later on by taking pictures and I have several blank magnets that I can fill in as I discover new recipes. I update my magnets once every few months to add these in with pictures. 

To keep things organized I keep my extra magnets on magnetic sheets that I hole punched and put into my recipe binder. When we put together each month's menu, I pull the recipes that I need to the front of the binder and jot down a shopping list. And instead of saying no to any of their choices I use a bit of loving logic and remove any of the magnets that I'm not willing to cook that month (like corned beef cabbage in July...). I also have a rule that they can choose the meals, but I get to choose the days that I cook them. This allows me to plan easy meals for busy days and save the more elaborate meals for the weekends and days off from school. 

My girls love to choose the meals and the pictures really help them put a name to the food they like. I've also noticed that they are a lot less picky since we have been using this system. Who knows, maybe they're just growing up! But I like to think that my brilliant idea helped a little...My husband checks the menu board every morning before he goes to work and the best part is that if I need to make some changes as the month progresses, it's super easy to swap magnets without anybody noticing; with the exception of their favorites of course!

Sweetened Condensed Milk and Hello Again!

I recently enjoyed a little reunion with a couple of my very best friends from high school. It was fun to catch up and meet each other’s children and just see where we are now in life. As I described my life I’m sure there was some surprise on their end… and honestly, I get it. As an academia driven high school girl I pictured myself in board meetings or running my own company at this point in my life. I actually already had a family at that point (I was a teenage mom) and determined not to become a statistic. I talked often of making something of myself and stepping outside the stereotype. I also talked often of my very small opinion of those domestic slaves we call stay-at-home-moms. At one point I told my friend that my aspiration in life was to earn the Nobel Prize. Fast forward 15 years later… I am a homemaker.

And I love it.

Seriously. I love everything there is about my job. I love to budget and plan menus. I love to kiss boo-boos and change diapers. I love to go grocery shopping and pull weeds. I loved to teach my kids and create lesson plans (we home school). And I love to cook! Which constantly surprises even me since I was so lousy at it before I was married. I mean, I literally could not boil water. (How many times did I set off the smoke alarm by burning Teflon in an empty pot? I stopped counting after three.) Okay…In the interest of full disclosure I don’t love folding laundry or scrubbing toilets. I'm actually a terrible housekeeper, but on the flip side, I love that I have the opportunity to keep trying and learning and getting better.

Last night I wanted to make caramel brownies (my family calls them “Good Brownies”). As I got all the ingredients out I realized that I didn’t have any sweetened condensed milk for my favorite caramel recipe. No problem. My domestication has actually reached the point that I have a recipe for sweetened condensed milk. The night was saved! The recipe is super simple and I will add it to the end of this post.

But first, for those who are new to my blog (which is nearly everybody seeing as I haven’t posted in nearly 3 years…) I wanted to point out a few changes. I’ve decided to rename my blog “The Family Table”. To me, this is where all things domestic revolve. My family table is the center of our home. We share our meals, play games, do art projects, learn math and reading, and plan our days all around our family table. I want this blog to incorporate all of that! I am hoping to share with you fun things we do in our home school, housekeeping tips that I am working/struggling with, garden successes and failures, and of course lots of yummy recipes. In a world that sometimes devalues the role of the stay-at-home mom, basically I want to share with you all the reasons that I love my job. And incidentally, I wouldn’t trade it for a hundred Nobel Prizes!

Sweetened Condensed Milk

1 cup dry milk

1 cup sugar

½ cup boiling water

¼ cup melted butter

Combine all ingredients in a sturdy, heat proof bowl and whisk until smooth. That’s it. You’re done. If you want it to be even easier, add the water and butter first into a good quality blender. Then add the sugar and milk. Blend until smooth. One recipe is about the equivalent to a 15 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk.